Thursday, November 6, 2008

Dear Anonymous McCain Campaign Insider,

You have come forward since your candidate's defeat with the most preposterous blame game I have ever witnessed. "Palin is at fault!" you scream, desperate to point the finger anywhere but at McCain's socialist-lite agenda, poorly run campaign, or unwillingness to play hard ball with his opponent.

You claim that this woman didn't know that Africa is a continent, not a country, wasn't aware of the countries involved in NAFTA, threw daily hissy fits over media reports, refused to take direction or accept coaching for interviews, and acted like a credit card carrying ditz on numerous shopping sprees.

I find it difficult to believe in this age of technology that not one person has caught any of that evidence on audio or video tape. I find it hard to believe that someone inclined to throw tantrums on a daily basis is the same person who took down the corrupt members of her own party in her own state, and renegotiated deals with the Big Boy oil companies to benefit her constituents rather than to continue to line the pockets of the Oil Elite. I find it difficult to believe that someone so materialistic is the same person that gave up a private jet as one of her first acts as Governor of Alaska. I find it difficult to believe that you truly had Sarah's best interest at heart when you fed her to the lions named Gibson and Couric rather than letting her appear on The O'Reilly Factor, even after Bill apparently begged for the opportunity. I find it difficult to believe that someone as bumbling as you're trying to portray her would possess the wherefore all to finally get the bill passed and the groundwork laid for the Alaskan pipe dream of the Alaskan pipeline, after thirty years at a standstill.

And now, our sweet Sarah has come out and apologized, saying, "If I cost McCain even one vote-I'm sorry." She should be apologizing to President-Elect Obama, saying, "I'm sorry I cost you your landslide victory."

Sarah Palin pumped more energy into the Republican party than we've seen in two decades. McCain's campaign was dead in the water by late summer, right up until he announced Sarah as his running mate. She injected her charm and spirit into McCain's rapidly sinking run for the White House, attracting Obama-sized crowds to rallies (where interestingly, the people chanted, "Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!" not, "John McCain! John McCain!") and significantly boosted campaign funds. McCain's campaign raised $47 million last August; $10 million of which came in the last three days of the month after McCain announced he had chosen Sarah to be his vice presidential running mate.

I know you are bitter, Insider. You're probably upset that *Caribou Barbie* possesses the natural ability to inspire and lead, the determination to get the job done, the fearlessness to stand up for what is right even when standing alone, and to do it all with a flawless appearance and a baby on her hip. It must be difficult to constantly be around someone that has something that you feel rightfully belongs to you.

Let me let you in on a little secret: Name calling and finger pointing will get you no where, it will only make you look small and petty. Please go put on your grown-up pants, apologize to Governor Palin for your childish behavior, and thank her profusely when she inevitably forgives you and brushes it off her shoulder like she has so many other groundless attacks. If you play your cards right, you may even end up with a shot at White House Receptionist in 2012.

A Sarah Palin Supporter

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